I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize