somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
