she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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