hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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