So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
