I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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