It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
