I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
