forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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