so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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