I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
