I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Apparently you make a good broom.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
