im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
