didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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