This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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