his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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