Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
