when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
