really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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