Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
