Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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