Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
