Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
