I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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