just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
