walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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