I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
