4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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