Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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