Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
