Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
