I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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