So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize