Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So much rum. So many feels.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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