Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
