you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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