First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How naked do you want me to be?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
