Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
