You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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