I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Will exercising make me less horny?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
