there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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