what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were trust falling into bushes
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
