I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
