my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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