I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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