Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
