is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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