It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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