I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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