So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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