i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize