3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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