So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
