The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
