I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
