He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize