Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
