I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize